"Consumed"
Human heart, small and weak, open me, Lord,
So tenderly
Eyes uplifted to eternity, unveil them, Lord
That I might see
Let Your truth open up Love's door
And where my heart is too small, wound me more
Do not stop where my love runs dry
But increase the river that I might fly
Limit not my heart to what it can hold
But enlarge my soul to love You more
What will You give to the human heart
If You would give all You desire and no less?
This I plead for my own heart
Give all You desire me to possess
Do not end with a flickering fire--
Let flames consume my all
Take me further than Love's edge--
Immerse my body mind and soul
All that is in Your heart to give, This I ask of You
As much as the human heart can receive,
Envelop, Immerse and Consume
-Dana Candler
It is so funny that Brian just posted a blog about seasons last week. The chapter I just finished in Deep Unto Deep is about just that subject. It talks about embracing every season whole-heartedly. It goes into way more depth than that but I will spare you and just say read it! I have been in one of those unclassifiable seasons. It's not really one you can put your finger on. It has elements of all of them yet isn't pure enough to be either. Have you ever been in one of those? I can tell you from fresh experience that it is very frustrating. I feel like I say daily, "God, what are you doing with me?" Everyday there is a different answer or no answer at all. Those are the really trying days, when you speak and He doesn't answer. To be honest, those days are more frequent than not. It seem so humorous at times how this relationship with God works. The reality is as Job says, "Behold God is great and we do not know him." He works in His timing, He speaks in His timing, He moves in His timing and He is not in a hurry. No microwave God happening here. I know for me that in this particular season, nothing I would normally run to for "comfort" is comforting me. Entertainment, friends, favorite foods, blogging, myspace, music... nothing. I was just with friends this weekend and I truly enjoyed being with them but there was something missing. God is removing my ability to "medicate" myself with earthly comforts. He is causing me to only find solace in Him. Here's the catch, He's not showing up either so I am becoming even more frustrated and yet the "comforts" are continuing to be less and less satisfying. I would classify this as Him growing desire for Him. However, it hurts like crazy! My insides are in agony. I am exactly where I am supposed to be but am seriously AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I want to run from this but where can I go? Nothing is even remotely dulling the internal ache.
Well I'm going to stop there. For some reason once the heart vomit starts coming it's hard to shut off. It's becoming projectile. Sorry... I hope this gets to someone as much as it does me. Much Love
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2 comments:
isn't God funny how he removes everything so that a need is developed in us that drives and plagues us? I think that God wants us to fein for him as he does for us and he'll stop at nothing to create that need in us...good post..(thanks for reading it to me lol)love ya can't wait to see ya this weekend...rowdy girls are gonna tear up your apt!
What's up girl. I really enjoyed the first part of that. Straight from the heart.
I don't know if this helps but I just heard this. I was at a conference this past weekend. The speaker said, "You know, I was sitting on my couch recently and God began to reveil something to me." She said, "sometimes we get so frustrated because we don't feel like we're going anywhere in God. We feel like we're sitting still and God's no where around." She said, "it's like a plane...the only time you feel the plane move is when it's taking off and when it's landing. Once the plane levels off is smooth riding." This is her talking, "you know why you can't roll down the windows in a plane....because you're moving so fast. You're moving so fast that if you opened a window it would literally blow your head off. When you feel fartherest away from Him is actually when you're the closest and God is doing something so big in your life that if you truly realized what was going on, it would blow you away. You couldn't handle it."
Mel, you're flying girl. Sit back and enjoy the ride and just worship and enjoy Him. I don't know if this helps but I will say, that little story has ministered to me MORE in the 1 week since I heard it than I EVER would have realized. I hope it ministers to you too....I hope I did it justice! Sorry I took up so much room. Love ya girl.
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